I used to have this ritual of asking myself three questions when I woke up every day:
What am I grateful for?
What is my intention? and
What am I avoiding?
#3 was always the toughest to answer.
It was also the most powerful. Here’s why:
Often the feelings I'm trying to suppress are the best cues for what I should do next. Emotions like grief, fear, disappointment, jealousy, and cynicism (hi, 2020) say a lot about what we truly value and desire in the moment. When I deny myself from acknowledging these emotions, I lose out on vital information for making key decisions. And it’s true what they say, you can’t heal what you can’t feel.
Unaddressed responsibilities today = a lot more stresses tomorrow. Like late parking tickets and bank fees, a neglected responsibility can become exponentially more expensive. If there's an unpleasant task I'm putting off but it's critical to my goals, I need to prioritize it so it doesn't come back to haunt me on the daily. Better for me to do or delegate something now than to let it distract or deter me for months.
Finding real calm sometimes requires a bit conflict. Do I really need more time to think? Or do I just need to make the tough decision? What’s on the other side of that uncomfortable conversation? Better for me to face an unresolved issue now than to bury it in a way that causes irreparable damage.
Take the time to ask, “What Am I Avoiding?” and see what happens. What comes up might surprise you.